


Poor Decision Making

by AgentStannerShipper



Series: tumblr ficlets [16]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, harry is the cutest drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-11 19:23:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17452814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentStannerShipper/pseuds/AgentStannerShipper
Summary: Harry Hart is a ridiculous (but very happy) drunk.





	Poor Decision Making

**Author's Note:**

> For the combination of sentence prompts: “So why did I have to punch that guy?” “I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.” and “Please put me down it’s just a sprained ankle.”

Eggsy takes approximately two seconds to confirm that yep, that is Harry Hart, on his bed, spread out on top of his duvet and naked as a babe. Then he taps on his glasses, “Merlin?”

It takes a minute, but eventually the wizard responds, “Eggsy? Is everything alright? I’m a bit busy-“

“Looking for your partner?”

Merlin pauses, “Yes. How did you-“

“He’s here.” Normally interrupting Merlin twice in a row is enough to get a threat for Siberia (where Merlin threatens to send all the naughty agents who piss him off), but apparently Merlin really must be worried because Eggsy doesn’t hear so much as a sigh from the wizard.

Instead, Merlin asks, “Here?”

“At my house. In my bed. Totally starkers. You want to come pick him up?”

“Jesus Christ,” Merlin says. “I’ll be over shortly. Thank you, Eggsy.” The link drops.

Eggsy hesitates, unsure what to do, and decides that the safest option is to close his bedroom door and hope Harry doesn’t wake up before Merlin gets there.

About ten minutes later, he hears a knock on his door and opens it to Merlin, who is holding a bundle of clothes in one hand and wearing an apologetic expression on his face. Eggsy lets him in, and Merlin says, “I’m very sorry about this.”

“’s alright, mate,” Eggsy tells him. “Why’s he here?”

As if to answer Eggsy’s question, the sound of light footfalls registers at the top of the steps, and Harry Hart, limping slightly and _still fucking naked_ squints down at them, “Merlin? What’s Eggsy doing in our house?”

“It’s my house now,” Eggsy reminds him, “and I’m going to need you to put on some pants before you say anything else.”

Harry blinks at him and Merlin sighs, ascending the stairs to shove the bundle of clothes into his hands, “Alright, Harry. Clothes on, and then I’m taking you home.”

Harry grins dopily at Merlin, “I love you.”

Merlin rolls his eyes and gives Harry a little shove towards the upstairs bathroom, “I know, you sap. _Get dressed_.”

Harry blows him a kiss and winks before sauntering (well, staggering) into the bathroom. Merlin looks down at Eggsy, who has been watching the exchange with an arched eyebrow and a hint of a smirk. “So what’s this all about?” he asks.

“Well, given that I found a handful of empty bottles in his office, I’d go out on a limb and say Harry was drinking, and then he decided to wander home. Except he forgot home is my house now.”

“This happen a lot?”

“Not really, no. Harry rarely drinks to excess. He’s a lovely, happy drunk though. A bit stupid, but happy.”

Harry stumbles back out of the bathroom, dressed now, and Merlin frowns at him, “Something wrong with your leg, Harry?”

Harry frowns down at it, like he hadn’t considered it before. “Hurts,” he says, like an afterthought.

Merlin sighs and scoops him up into his arms bridal style, “Whatever am I going to do with you?”

“Please put me down,” Harry pouts. “It’s just a sprained ankle.”

“Just a-“ Merlin cuts himself off, carrying Harry down the stairs. “You normally like it when I hold you.”

“Yes, when we’re at _home_.” Harry glances over at Eggsy, simultaneously nuzzling his cheek against Merlin’s chest. “ _Eggsy’s watching_.”

Eggsy laughs, and Merlin looks exasperated. “That is entirely your fault, you ridiculous man. I don’t even want to know how you got yourself hurt in the first place.”

“Walked here,” Harry says. “There was a very grumpy man who asked for my wallet. He got upset when I declined, and I had to put him in his place.”

“Lovely,” Merlin sighs. “You got drunk, walked here from HQ, and assaulted a mugger. It must be my lucky day.”

“Aw, come on guv,” Eggsy grins. “Look at him. He’s adorable drunk.”

“He’d be a bit more adorable if he wasn’t my mess to clean up.” But the words are soft, softened further as Harry places a smacking kiss to Merlin’s cheek. “I’ll take him home now,” Merlin says. “I’m so sorry about this.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Harry wakes up the next morning with a throbbing headache, a nasty taste in his mouth, an aching ankle and swollen knuckles. He tries to open his eyes, but shuts them quickly against the blinding sunlight, moaning in agony.

Somewhere above him and far too loudly, his partner chuckles. “Please stop,” Harry whispers. “I think my head is going to split in two.”

“It’s just a hangover,” Merlin says, and nudges a couple of aspirin into his hand. “You’ve had worse.”

“What happened?”

“Well, I haven’t watched the video yet, but from what I understand you got drunk, got in a bit of a fight, somehow lost your clothes and ended up naked in Eggsy’s bed.”

“Naked in-“ Harry bolts upright, “ _Please_ tell me-“

“Nothing happened,” Merlin laughs. “He came home to find you passed out.”

“Right,” Harry nods. “Ah, I got in a fight?”

“Roughed yourself up a bit. Hope you didn’t get too many licks in, or it’s amnesia duty for me again.”

“Right,” Harry says again. He rubs his knuckles, “So, why did I have to punch that guy, then?”

“You got mugged.”

“Perfect,” Harry sighs. “I am so sorry, darling.”

“Happens. Let’s not make a habit of it, alright?”

“I assure you, I will not.” Harry groans and settles back under the covers, “I’m getting too old for this.”

“Stop your whining, and I’ll make you some breakfast.”

“In bed?”

Merlin pokes him in the side, “Alright, lazybones. Yes, in bed.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too. Pain in my arse.”


End file.
